That is correct.

I’ve given everything that I can give, poured every last resource at my disposal to anyone who might have an answer. And all to no avail. I have no other hope. So I let them use me, the same as I would use them to reach my own goals. As long as they are able to produce real results I’m willing to give them everything. I’ll pour my own blood on that path if I must.

And yet it makes me hate it— hate myself no less.